Morbidity
by Cloud Piece
Summary: Law and Robin have a laugh, and naturally Usopp is the guy in the receiving end. Law/Robin


**The lack of Law/Robin on this site is worrying. Especially considering the latest arcs. **

The sun was beating down on the four pirate's backs. Law was walking along the path, one hand holding his sheathed sword and the other in his pocket. Robin walked beside him, smiling at the scenery. Usopp and Caesar Clown were behind both of them. To the left of the path was river, and to the right was a dark forest.

"If that tree dropped we will most certainly be crushed to death," Robin said, glancing at a nearby tree. Its branch dangled above them, providing some shade against the heat of the sun. Law heard the sniper cry out behind him. A bright idea suddenly came to him.

"Yeah, that's true," the shichibukai replied, smirking. He looked at the river. "Careful, Usopp!" Law called, glancing behind him. "If you get too close to the stream, the piranhas will most likely eat your flesh."

Usopp flinched and stepped as far away from the river as he could, Caesar Clown mimicking his actions. Law and Robin smiled at each other mischievously. Law winked, and whispered, just so the archaeologist could hear, "This is fun. Let's keep doing this."

Robin covered her mouth as she chuckled softly and nodded. "Oh dear," she sighed, staring at the sky. "I hope we don't get skin cancer from this heat."

"Our skin might get burnt so bad that it will peel off," Law said.

"Stop it, you two!" Usopp shrieked, sweating waterfalls. Caesar nodded in agreement, on the verge of tears. Usopp was about to move a plant out of his way when he heard a feminine sigh.

"These toxic plants are everywhere, Trafalgar. These are the ones that make you cough up your own organs, correct?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't touch them. I heard about a guy that touched them one time… apparently he died in less than three minutes."

"Oh dear, that's rather worrying."

Usopp twitched his hand back and went around the plant instead, Caesar doing the same.

Luckily the two morbid pirates didn't say another word for a few minutes, allowing the sniper some time to calm down. As soon as he got mental images of the many ways he could die out of his head Law started to talk to Robin again.

"Could you make arms inside of someone's lungs and puncture their lungs?" he asked.

Robin shrugged slightly. "I've never actually tried it, but I suppose it should work," she answered. She lifted her arm and stared at it. "What a fascinating way to die. Thank you for that."

"No problem," Law replied.

"This is too creepy," Usopp muttered to Caesar Clown. The hostage nodded in agreement once again.

"Tell me about it," he mumbled, his voice shaking slightly. "And I thought one of them was bad."

"…Force someone to eat their own heart." He had only heard the last part of the sentence but that was enough.

Usopp's eyes nearly popped out of his skull. His face turned into a look of disgust as he stared in horror at the raven haired woman. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" he screamed.

Robin blinked innocently. "I was just telling Trafalgar how he could force someone to eat their own heart," she said, gesturing towards Law, who smirked. "Is anything wrong?"

Usopp grabbed his own hair and pulled. "Yes! Yes! Something is defiantly wrong!" he screeched. "Who the hell would force someone to eat their own heart? That's just _sick_!"

"It's useful," Robin retorted, crossing her arms and cocking a brow. "I'm just giving him some advice on battle techniques."

"Well stop it then!" Usopp yelled. He glowered at the both of them. "Leave the morbid talk for tonight or something, when we're," he pointed at himself and the shaking Caesar, "asleep, and you guys are awake talking about… that stuff!"

Law and Robin shared a look before giving Usopp the same bone-chilling smile. "Of course, Usopp," they both said in unison. They turned around and immediately started to chat again, but this time they didn't say anything morbid-like (to Usopp's relief).

But what they were talking about was strange anyway.

"Nico Robin, your skin is flawless," Law complimented, checking Robin out.

"Your hair is amazing," she replied, also staring at Law.

"How did Straw Hat get such a beautiful person on his crew?"

"I'm interested in him, Trafalgar."

Law gave a fake pout jokingly. "So you're not interested in me then?"

Robin laughed softly. "I'm interested in you of course, you're a mysterious person. I'm quite fond of mysteries."

"That makes two of us then."

Law and Robin stopped walking and stared into each other's eyes with a passionate longing. Grey eyes and azure eyes, staring each other down. Law glanced at Robin lips and licked his own. Robin noticed. The corners of her mouth twitched upwards. They both had the same image running through their minds, and as they edged closer to each other their imagination was running wild. They were both an inch away from each other before Usopp pushed them both gently outwards. He coughed.

"No making out until we give Caesar back," he ordered. Law rolled his eyes and yawned.

"That sounds dull."

"He has a point. We can't afford to lose any time here," Robin pointed out.

Law smirked. "Shut up."

"Make me." Robin smirked back.

Usopp groaned and slapped his forehead. "This is going to be a long trip," he moaned.

**It's been a while since I've done a one shot for One Piece. Anyway, this was fun to write. **

**You guys should write LawRo too. It's pretty fun XD**

**As always, please leave a review!**


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